So. My father died 2 years ago. He was an Anglican priest. And one of the world's truly Great Men. It was...devastating, at the least. I will remain forever crushed and lost without him here as my mentor and guide.
The new priest called my mother and asked her if it would be alright to use the money we have placed in a memorial fund for my dad to fix the roof on the church. (Deep breath here.) My mother, caught unawares and not being altogether socially ept to begin with, said she would have to think about it. THINK ABOUT IT?!?!?!
My immediate response: Oh, HELL no. What gave this new priest the idea that using money meant to honor a life well-lived and a soul missed desperately by many to fix a fucking roof was even remotely acceptable? Such a thing diminishes our intent in establishing a memorial in the first place.
AND...this is a memorial for the former priest of this parish. He deserves better. We, his survivors, deserve better. The church deserves better. Stained glass? Bibles? Anything lasting and appropriate would be just fine with me.
I have so much more I can say about this. I am so angry. This is something my father would NEVER have considered asking a family who lost a loved one. Churches are supposed to be concerned more with people than with money. I question this priest's ability to understand this and I will not contribute further to a memorial held in that church.
There is another memorial in the local library, where my Dad spent much of his free time enjoying the many programs they provided. The library has used this memorial money to purchase much-needed bookshelves and they kindly attached a brass plate with my father's name upon it.
My father does not need an Ozymandias-like statue in his image. He will live on in my heart and in my spirit, which is so much like his. However, he does deserve to be remembered in an appropriately respectful fashion. This will not include the Memorial Roof Repair.
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4 years ago
2 comments:
It's not about God, is it? It's about the ridiculous things that his supposed followers do in his name. A memorial roof repair would have been just the thing for my late father in law, because one of the big things in his life was doing physical maintenance in his church. he painted, papered, plumbed, and yes, even roofed. But his memorial was dedicated to making sure there were flowers in the church every week, which are then taken to the shut-ins and sick folk. he liked flowers, too.
Yes, I can see where it would have worked for your father-in-law, as a memorial to the good works he did. i suppose I am looking for something equally meaningful for the work my father did. It is strange how money causes people to reinterpret the intent behind such things.
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